Intimacy

What is Intimacy?

What comes into mind when you hear intimacy?  A romantic date? Dinner by candle light?  A walk by the beach at sunset?  A very warm conversation?  Sex?  The answer can be all of the above.  


I define intimacy as physical, emotional and spiritual connection between my partner and me.  It doesn't always have to be physical to be able to connect to ones partner.  It's not just in mere sex that you can feel the connection.  A touch or perhaps a hug on your partner can sometimes make him feel secure and at ease.  A conversation of how ones day can make the other feel your concern.


Over the years that I am with my husband of almost 2 years and as my steady boyfriend of 7 years, our relationship started off immaturely.  We usually fight over things that are so simple.  Usually we fight over text messages and some I don't even recall.  We've had countless fights and make ups, but we always make it a point that we talk about the issue at hand and make a compromise. 


Communication

This is one key in getting the intimacy process started.  Talking and conversing with my husband makes us feel connected.  Our daily conversations has helped us know what each other wants and needs.  From there, we work things out in providing each others needs, meet each others expectations. 


Bonding

Another key to a good marital intimacy is to share things you enjoy doing together.  We usually bond in our own room. No, it's not just sex we are talking about here, but the time we spend in the room just talking, cuddling, reading books we both love.  Even enjoying taking turn in sitting in front of our personal computer just to login to Facebook and play Cafe world and Farmville is already bonding for us!  We also bond through eating. Believe it or not guys but we do well in this.  Sharing the things we love to do in common can be a form of bonding and hence being intimate with each other.


Prayer

My husband is not the prayerful type of man.  But through talks and explanations we were able get to being a Christ centered marriage.  I always pray to God for my husband to be what God wanted him to be.  I also pray for myself to what God wanted me to be for my husband.  Having said this, we are giving God the wheels, the captain's seat of our married lives.  I belive that through Christ, He will guide us to the path where everything will work out fine, come what may.


Intimacy my friends takes a lot of work.   A lot of marriages fail because they lack intimacy and the lack of effort to achieve such.  My advice is, take the courage to change, go out of your comfort zones.  After all intimacy is all about sharing each other!

Do We Really Fall Out of Love?

A friend of mine asked the same question. Do we really fall out of love?

In my last blog I said that Love is a decision. It's not just a feeling, but a decision, a promise, a commitment to be with your partner through thick or thin. So why do we experience or say this falling out of love thing?

Normally we start with falling in love. We don't notice it but we suddenly feel that we like a person. Then gradually we now decide if we want to pursue that feeling of elation. But what if we get to the point of exhaustion from the pressures of being in a romantic relationship? Can we say that we have fallen out of love for our partners? I say yes partly, we may feel less intensity of love, less overwhelmed, less feeling of elation for our partners. Since love is one part feeling and the other part is decision.

I agree partly with the expression of falling out of love, but it is a matter of choice. I said before that love is not just a feeling but partly you also decide on love itself. But whatever we have decided on will be executed in action.

Life is all about making choices. We take risks when we choose. It is a choice when we decide on the feeling of falling out of love. But does falling out of love meaning hating the person? I suggest you evaluate yourself if you are not sure whether you have fallen out of love or just overwhelmed with the pressures of your current situation.